| key racers. |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|11:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the patmos vision.- yeah ill cal you later. | ] |
car hoping
drunk driving.
insured & bonded
unregistered vehicles. |
|
|
| I could do it. |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|10:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
It
snowed on me
today.
But no one believed me.
.rebmemer dna kcab kool ll'uoy yademos
i'll be gone. |
|
|
| Do you have any Ideas? |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|04:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
I once sat on a wooden dinning set, in a kitchen, staring into kalidascope eyes.
We've learned that i really dont have much to offer, but affection. I cant do everything, but I can still do somethings and I wont refuse to do the somethings I can do.
My tounge can be my worst enemy.
Doing a large amount of work in a small amount of time requires alot of power, where Power= Work/ Time. But with so much work and so little time I've replaced time with distance and now Work= Force x Distance. My Direction of motion has magnitude, But no direction---------> I generate no energy or light of my own but glow only in the reflected light of the Sun, without it I would be dark as would our entire Solar System O o o o o o -o- o o o x
I never know exactly where my hypotheses and observations will lead me. So I'll just continue with the same curiosity of everyday life and the same consciousness that first noticed the regularity of being alone.
2006 |
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|
| Accept an Invitation. |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|04:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | dead. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the patmos vision- Gemini. | ] |
I would be unstoppable.....
.........if I could only get started. |
|
|
| I'll protect you. |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|12:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
3rd May 451 Chapter Road
Norwalk,CA
Dear Jacob,
We have a new fridge and cooker at last! Lorena and I drove to the tip at the weekend to throw the old ones away. Its where people throw everything away. There are huge bins for three different colours of bottles and cardboard and engine oil and garden waste and household waste and larger items(that's where we put the old fridge and cooker).
Then we went to a secondhand shop and bought a new cooker and a new fridge. Now the house feels a little bit more like home.
I was looking through some old photos last night, which made me sad. Then I found a photo of you playing with the train set we bought for you a couple of Christmas's ago. And that made me happy because it was one of the really good times we had together.
Do you remember how you played with it all day and you refused to go to bed at night because you were still playin with it. And do you remember how we told you about train timetables and you made a train timetable and you had a clock and you made the trains run on time. And there was little woodden station,too, and we showed you how people who wanted to go on the train went to the station and bought a ticket and then got on the train? And then we got out a map and we showed you the little lines which were the train lines connecting all the stations. And you played with it for weeks and weeks and weeks and we bought you more trains and you knew where they were all going.
I liked remembering that a lot.
I have to go now. It's half past three in the afternoon. I know you always like to know exactly what time it is. And I have to go to the Co-op and buy some ham to make Lorena's tea with. I'll put this letter in the post box on the way to the shop.
Loads and loads of love,
Your Father. |
|
|
| Is it because Im white?!? |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ramon singing | ] |
Today I woke up at 7:45am and dragged myself out of bed. I was excited for my friend who was visiting my old home.
I remember, maybe not too long ago getting waking up from bed and treated with my fav. breakfast, toasted raisin bread covered in butter still hot from the toaster and my small cup of orange juice right beside it.
Life wasnt as complex back then just a small boy living his small life with small friends named, Dustin. I remember the way it always felt when I would step outside in the mornings and feel the cool air rush into my lungs as I inhaled a deep breath and sighed right after. I can still hear the rushing of the river that ran through our apartments. The way i would run up and play with the waterfall and hop onto a stone then another and another until there were no more stones but water and I had to turn back. I remember my friend Matthew slipping in thick mud one christmas and he wouldnt stop crying.
I just stayed quite.
I remember the rides to school every morning in the big cadillac that we had. I felt big and cool in it with my blue vest that had an orange triangle pattern on the collar. Most of the ride was spent with my eyes enjoying the California scene. The different type of trees and signs use to make my head hurt. We would always past by a garden of orange trees and sometimes I would get brave and take one or two!
But the mountains were my fav. to look at on the way to school because I knew that I would never reach the top so I liked to picture myself on a dangerous expedition camped in the snow and just being there was good enough for me.
Nothing too fancy.
But I never knew if it was really snow or just the color of the mountain. I was really far away and I still dont know.
And I still remember all the old friends that i left behind and my old life which was much different then todays. And i cant help but wonder what they've gotten themselves into and if my brief history with them did anything.
And what if i never moved and never met any of my New Old Friends that i have here.
But Im glad that i moved because then I would've never had this memory, it would just be a "taken for granted memory" and that doesnt make my happy....
... like my friends do. |
|
|
| old lady |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
but... in life you have to take
lots of decisions and if you dont
make decisions you would never do anything because you would spend all your time choosing between things you could do. |
|
|
| A Blind Story. ( Sorry for the one big block of words) |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|09:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Blind and Dreaming.
He dances at night. The way they danced always astonished him. Her hands, moist, holding his. So soft. It was all he could think about.
Their pulse went in patterns just like their waltz. One step. Two step. Back and Forth. Their pulse sequenced. Shes even. Im odd. Her fingers squeezing harder then usual.
"Your squeezing hard." he said.
"I've just missed you." she said.
She always wore the same perfume; and he wondered if it was so he'd always recognize her everytime she'd say..
" Hello Jacob"
"hello Andromeda"
It reminded him of the smell of fresh strawberries, just like the ones his mother use to pick every morning.
He could tell that they danced in rain. The beads of water slid down his forehead. Soaked. Having to spit it out every now and then. Was she disgusted by this? How could he tell? That wet desert smell. You knew rain was here from that smell.
Her hair. Soft. Thats all he knew from her was " soft ". What a funny word. "How do you spell that word?"
"What?" she asked.
"Oh sorry. Just Thinking."
She pulled away and lit up a smell. It was recognized. "Is that a smoke?" Thick air surrounded him. He wondered. How does smoke look like?
Then they sat. The sand fell threw his hand like grains always escaping.
" The moon is beautiful tonight." she said. The tides were softer, calling his name. He remembered hearing.....
...." The moon is bright. Im Idealistic for you in every way. Do YOU understand me?......."
........
.......The bright started to hurt. He felt it crushing his conjunctiva, anterior chambers, cornea, iris, lens, retina, medial optic disk all the way up to his optic nerves.
It was morning. The Sun now said "Hello".
There was no Andromeda.
Just a galaxy he remembered seeing.
"Is all that we see or seem just a dream within a dream?"
Me and alex drink like wet fish. Im a slave and hopeless. I think I need a new pair of arms to help me out at work or at least to help me hang myself. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2005|09:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | weird | ] |
I think toooo much. So i tell myself----
Dont try and force your thoughts into a pattern if there isnt one-that
could end up just confusing you more than, helping. Instead learn
to live with the confusion for now, You'll get some clarity before too
long....
So I tell myself, "Man! Thats hard!"
Dont hesitate. But I always do. There are so many letter that i wanna spit out like
s r
y
l
<---- m o r for ying
You keep pressing right click right click like if its going to make anything better
" Sometimes I wanna take my toaster in the bath" and
just relax I could stop being sad
or maybe I need to go back to Berlin right before the RED army takes control of Hitlers Bunkers, I could ask him-----
" Hey Hitler! Wheres my Eva Braun!"
|
|
|
| $2.38 for a punch in the face. |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|06:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed like a dead rat. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Doors- Summers almost gone. | ] |
Odd months. Cohesive months.
A vast of garnet squares assembled in patterns on the inside of my eyelids. The palm of my hands pressed deep into both of my sockets.
No human wrench can pry them open.
Your fingers bent, your nails face first with your forehead.
They say "hello" to each other.
Dark now.
Its like some type of movie picture with one seat. The man on the intercom announces " Ladies and Gentlemen. The afternoon feature is amongst plenty to be seen hear today. It feat...."
His voice fades away and the movie begins.
An intense part in the middle of the Star Spangled Banner follows. The sounds of BOOMS and BANGS force him back in his seat.
".......And The Rockets They Burst!"
The images go hand and hand with the movie.
The music stops.
He sees people climbing "20 steps" and when they reached the top they fell into an ambiguous pit, but before they fell there was a sign that read-
"TO EUCHARIST."
It cuts to a scene of people giving thanks.
It felt like a Sunday.
Dark again. IT felt good. Bubbles smiles pass his ears with the dark bouncing off. It makes him warm.
3 odd months. three strange months.
After awhile the pictures kept repeating.
The story was gettin old.
You wake up when you hear your name being called over the intercom.
Your eyes open.
Try to focus.
Summers gone. |
|
|
| Space race. |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|05:59 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The patmos vision | ] |
Recollecting by books....
...He remembered the way things were. The way they stood in front of jugglar science mirrors. Clean.
stare long enough and you'd swear to the lord that you'd seen a reflection of how it is and how it was. The same boring face looking right back at you.
Dreadful memories you thought. He wasnt use to the adjustment.
You furnish them with river waters forever and ever running the same usual mapped road.
A compass buried beneath the banks.
It always points east. You wish it recur to the west.
Trees lurch together. Their branches not long enough to push the sun aside.
So you dry up.
The solution is too bright. How old does a tree have to be before its allowed to shade? .Who cares.
you dried out.
your a lutefish.
You already dried out.
Mirrors bring you back.
And you see that familiar reflection. You see that radiant smile
Its time to gabble. But like always you slip into some kind of sudrorific condition. you feel like you have some kind of throat hatch around your neck.
Youre strapped in. Youre ready to gallop away with half a leg but you say the first thing that wedges from your head----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Hey you. How've you been?
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|08:39 pm] |
|
Amicitiae Nostrae Memoriam Spero Sempiternam Fore |
|
|
| BLAAAAAAHHHHHH HYHHH |
[Aug. 15th, 2005|12:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
I got 3 angry tickets!!!!!!
HOw worse can it get? NEWs - Asteroid smashes into boys house in El paso Tx
MAybe that would be bad too.
I need to go finish my .....Painting.
|
|
|
| Stop. |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|12:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The patmos vision | ] |
Code 11!
You bring out the worst in me. My hearts on fire a wall of stones The
door that once was open is sealed and bent. I told you didnt I? Stay In your school and place
but
Just go away l eave me alone dont bother me
Anymore!
Okay:)
I'll see you on the other side!
Hey where the ghost be at? And i cant believe that guy was in the car the whole time. That was so funny. |
|
|
| Im running to new york, Sign Stealer coming your way. |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|12:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm, like an unmudded lake. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The patmos vision 2005 | ] |
I heed not that my earthly lot
hath little of Earth in it-
That years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute
I mourn not that the desolate
Are happier, sweet, than I,
But that you sorrow for my fate
Who am a passer-by
You'll understand someday. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|09:36 pm] |
Staplers are more fun when their plunged into your skin 2in deep
believe me I'll choose a stapler over a hole puncher anytime them hole punchers are to picky on their picks if they find one thing they dont like, thats that. Esecially if your made out of a paper plate. Their fun at the starts with OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo's and AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh and WOooooooooow's
but its like jacks back on fire...You get tired of it.
me. |
|
|
| 1969 |
[Jul. 21st, 2005|12:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Picture yourself on a boat on a river. | ] |
Do you have a Q or a Z on your dial pad? My phone doesnt.
36yrs ago we landed... I remember where i was when we landed on the moon. I was thinking " If we land on the Moon, Something can happen to the earth! NooooOOoo!!!
War of the worlds wouldve been better if at the end instead of his family being there an army of zombies run out and eat him alive. |
|
|
| You name it I'll Play it. |
[Jul. 19th, 2005|01:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Patmos Vision | ] |
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away..
its okay though. |
|
|
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